So far, 60 residents who feel that way are part of a group called Oakrap-Oakely Crime Reporting and Prevention. They’ve gone high tech to catch a thief. “We’re running 16 cameras, another 10 or 12 online in 15 days.”

For Tom Frey the last straw was when his outdoor fire pit was stolen before his Halloween party. After that, he installed motion detectors around his yard. Different zones give off different beeps. Last week, Tom heard the beeps just before the motion light in his yard went on. Outside, he saw a man and a woman, looking in cars and going into yards and on porches.The whole encounter was caught on tape. Tom drove after them as he called police. Greg Atkins was arrested for criminal trespass. The woman got away… for now. “She thinks she got away. We got good facial recognition on her.”

When Frey isn’t around he can still monitor 8 cameras on his smart phone. Some of those cameras are blocks from where he lives. For the cops, it’s extra eyes to help patrol the east side’s 14 neighborhoods. “Video surveillance is a good thing for us, it’s great documentation when something is captured on film.”

Frey helped other families in the neighborhood set up similar security systems. All the video is streamed on a secure website.

The first question that comes to mind when a spouse cheats is: Why? A recent study by the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada, attempted to answer that question and found that the reasons behind infidelity differ greatly between the sexes. For men, it’s typically about the sex—the more sexually excitable they are, the more likely they are to cheat. For women, it’s more about the level of satisfaction in her relationship; if a woman is unhappy in her marriage, she’s 2.6 times more likely to cheat. Regardless of the reason, there’s one thing that’s certain: infidelity is devastating. But there can be a silver lining. “In many cases, it forces issues to the surface of a relationship that would have never otherwise been dealt with,” says Kevin Hansen, author of Secret Regrets: What if You Had a Second Chance? Read on to discover what life lessons these five women gained through their personal experiences with infidelity—and what you can learn from their stories.

Discover 11 signs that he might be having an affair.

“My husband was abusive.”
“From the day I married my husband, I knew it was a mistake,” says 50-year-old Elizabeth Smith.* “He was abusive, controlling and expected me to quit my job to make a home for him.” A little over a year into the marriage, she began having an affair with a man that she worked with. “I had no illusions that I was in love, but it was eye-opening to be with someone that made me feel good about myself, made me laugh and respected me for who I was—not who he wanted me to be,” she says. “The affair helped me find myself and proved to me that I could live a life independent of my husband. It also gave me the courage to ask for a divorce. Twenty-five years later, I’m married to a wonderful man. We love making each other happy, and never try to change who the other person is,” she says. What You Can Learn: While the confidence gained from the affair may have given her the spark she needed to get out of a bad relationship, New York City psychologist Michael E. Silverman, PhD, says if you’re in an abusive relationship, deception isn’t the best way to deal with it. Get help first from a trusted friend, family member, therapist or one of the numerous nationwide resources instead.

“We began to resent each other.”
When Vanessa Myers*, 28, married her husband six years ago, they both couldn’t wait to have children, but after their wedding day something changed for her. “I started to really love my job, and kids didn’t seem to fit into the picture,” she says. Her husband was hurt by her change of heart, and began to resent her. “We started fighting a lot, and I resented him for resenting me and we were just constantly hurting each other,” she says. “One night I caught him trying to slip off the condom and that was pretty much the end of our sex life.” Ultimately, the lack of intimacy caused Vanessa to cheat. “I met a guy online and we dated for about a year,” she says. “It ended when my husband caught me.” Vanessa and her husband agreed to seek therapy separately and together, and were able to save their marriage. “The biggest lesson I learned was that if I was unhappy in my marriage, my husband was only 50% to blame. [Having] an affair gave me the courage to ask for what I wanted in my marriage,” she says. What You Can Learn: While what her husband did may be shocking, the fact that there was unaddressed anger in the relationship created fertile ground for an affair, says Dr. Silverman. “Coupled with the lack of sexual intimacy there was nothing left to hang a relationship on,” he says Even though the affair helped Vanessa learn some valuable lessons and the relationship was ultimately saved, Dr. Silverman stresses the importance of open and honest communication in a relationship as a way for a couple to stay connected—before one of the spouses seeks comfort or intimacy outside of the marriage.

Discover 9 signs your marriage might be over.

“I was bored and unhappy.”
At 35-years-old, Barbara Gisborne was living the American dream. She lived in Madison, Wisconsin, with her loving husband and two children—but she was miserable. “My husband was a good man, but I was bored inside and out,” she says. “In our community, I always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole.” That year, she was in Chicago on business and met Bob, an Australian man, on an elevator. “We had an instant connection. We exchanged numbers, kept in touch, and I decided to fly out to Australia to see him and get him out of my system,” she says. “Instead, I fell in love.” She left everything she knew—her hometown, her husband, her job and her country—to start her life over with Bob in Australia. “I became strong, independent, confident and much worldlier,” she says. “That was 25 years ago and now I can say that my affair was the turning point in my life’s journey. Today, Bob and I are married, own a winery in Australia, and have five children and 10 grandchildren between us.” What You Can Learn: Though Barbara’s story ended up with a “happily ever after,” that’s not always the case when it comes to infidelity, which is why Dr. Silverman suggests looking inside yourself if you’re unhappy or bored with your relationship. “Healthy relationships grow and evolve, and feeling bored is a symptom of relationship stagnation. Rather than having an affair, increase the romance, change habitual patterns within the relationship and communicate more about your feelings and needs.” If you just need a change of pace, try booking an exotic vacation with your husband or girlfriends, or discuss moving to a new city and starting over.

“My husband was a workaholic.”
For 10 years, 49-year-old Barbara Singer created a life independent of her husband because he was never around. “Gary was totally consumed and exhausted by his work—there was nothing left for me,” she says. “I was totally committed to my family and gave it my all, but knew in my heart that I certainly did not want this for rest of my life.” One night, she met up with Tom, an acquaintance, and ended up staying out all night with him. Within a few weeks of meeting him, she ended her marriage, and two years later, she and Tom were married. But within a month, he died of a heart attack. “Meeting Tom was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. He came into my life and woke me up, showing me…that life is precious and that at any given moment, it can all be taken away, so if I have a dream or a goal, I better get moving on it,” she says. What You Can Learn: “Barbara felt alone for many years, and feeling disconnected from your partner is the genesis of most of the affairs I see in my practice,” says Dr. Silverman. The remedy? Speak up and begin a dialogue with your partner. Engaging in open, honest communication about your needs with your husband is the key to help a stalled marriage.
To find out more about Barbara’s story, go to LivingWithoutReservations.com.

“He was unfaithful first.”
Larie Norvell had only been married about a year when she found out that her husband had cheated on her. “I was very angry, but I was also very hurt, because I felt like I wasn’t enough for him—like there was something I wasn’t doing for him as his wife, which is why he felt the need to go outside of our marriage,” says the 33-year-old. That jumble of mixed emotions was the impetus for her affair. “I cheated on him—mostly for revenge, but in retrospect it was also because I wanted validation. I wanted to know that I was still desirable to other men,” she says. Once her affair was discovered, the couple separated for a few months—but then began to seek counseling and were able to salvage their marriage. What You Can Learn: Retribution is a common feeling when someone has been betrayed, says Dr. Silverman. “Anger can be quite powerful in clouding one’s judgment,” he says, which is why he urges any couple dealing with infidelity to seek counseling. Fortunately for Larie, her relationship endured the double deception. “The biggest lesson we’ve learned through all the struggles in 14 ½ years is that we are enough for each other,” she says.

*Names have been changed to protect identity.

We all know that college students are tech savvy. But it turns out that they are a bit naive about internet security and aren’t doing enough to protect their personal information while they are surfing and banking online.

How big is the problem? More than 40% of 18 to 24-year-olds have never heard of malicious software, according to security software maker McAfee. And only one in five are using privacy controls with the popular social networking site Facebook. Couple this with the fact that the majority of young adults do their banking on their laptops or mobile phones, and you can just imagine how vulnerable this group is to identity theft.

Indeed, most instances of banking fraud are not due to the bank’s technology being compromised, says Dave Marcus, Director of Security Research for McAfee Labs. Instead, it happens because people unwittingly give out their personal banking information to criminals via phishing scams and copycat sites, or their computers being infected with malware, he says.

So what should college students do to protect themselves?  Here’s some advice from McAfee:

1. Start Fresh

Make sure your laptop or PC is free of all threats by using a free diagnostic tool, such as McAfee Security Scan Plus. This will scan and detect malware, Trojans and any other potentially unwanted programs.

2. Use Security Software

Invest in comprehensive security software that will protect your computer from viruses, spyware, adware and identity theft. (McAfee’s version is called McAfee Total Protection software.) Although there are free programs out there, McAfee warns that some of those competing products lack firewalls, website health checks and automatic updates.

3. Be Vigilant

After you’ve installed security software, run a daily security scan before turning your computer off for the night.

4. Watch out for Phishing

Be careful not to respond to fake bank emails. And never provide a bank with your full name, account number or password via email. Think of it this way, if it’s your financial institution, it should already have this information.

5. Review Your Financial Statements

Going over credit card and other financial statements may not be high on a college student’s list of priorities, but it’s still important. Review them line by line and watch out for any unauthorized transactions. If something looks weird, call your bank right away.

McAfee also recommends using a long passphrase instead of a simple password for added internet security.

How do you protect yourself from identity theft online?

By Mary Kay Hoal

Yes. You read that right. A social media background check is now possible thanks to a recent ruling by the Federal Trade Commission. That ought to provide us parents with further reinforcement that it’s incredibly important to teach our children how to “safely and responsibly network online.”

The FTC ruling authorizes companies to provide reports on an individual’s online actions by reviewing up to seven years worth of publicly available records. These records include everything from what your child might say and post on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, to Craigslist ads and personal blog posts.

Sure, companies could take a peek at someone’s online actions before this ruling, but they were mostly limited to what they found on Google or searched on Facebook or MySpace. This ruling gives organizations information on you (or your child) from seven years back. So whatever your now-15-year-old child is posting online could affect what college they get into or what job they get, which is all the more reason for you to be involved in what and where they post online.

Social Intelligence, a company that specializes in “reducing organizational risk” by helping employers learn more about potential employees via the Internet, has hit the ground running with this ruling.

Mat Honan, a writer from Gizmodo, experimented with Social Intelligence’s tool by running a social media background check on himself. He failed, however, as it turns out he mentioned some recreational drug use in an old blog post. But that’s just one example of negative activity that can be flagged in a social media background check — employers can also scan for things like racist remarks and sexually explicit images.

You can see Mat’s full post, along with some photos from his background check, here.

These background checks don’t only check for negative activity, though. Employers are also able to see the good things that your son or daughter might have posted on their social network profile, like involvement with charity organizations. And if, for example, your child’s Facebook profile is set to private, it’s no longer considered public information, and therefore inaccessible.

As mentioned at the outset, this ruling should reinforce the need for us to continue to teach, show and talk to our kids about safe and responsible social networking, and the importance of thinking before posting.

For our tweens and teens, it’s not a moment too soon for them to learn that social media is a digital resume that expands far beyond work experience. The things they say and do online actually build a profile about them; they can choose to make it work in their favor, or to their disadvantage.

Will your teen pass a social media background check five years from now?

This work is the opinion of the columnist and in no way reflects the opinion of ABC News.

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission is holding a hearing today on an important topic for companies: Can they consider job applicants’ criminal histories in making hiring decisions?

The hearing will examine the law governing background screening and consider the extent to which individuals with arrest and conviction records face barriers in getting hired.

The hearing comes at a time in which an increasing number of employers are seeking criminal background checks out of security concerns, according to this item in the Washington Post’s Federal Eye blog.  And some advocates, the Post reports, are pushing for legislation that would require certain employers to perform criminal background checks.

But the EEOC, as we noted in this earlier post, has in the past expressed concern that companies may improperly discriminate against minorities, who have been arrested at a disproportionate rate, when they screen out job applicants with criminal records.  The agency has even sued some companies, alleging they have used arrest records improperly.

So, is background screening fair game for employers?

Paul Evans, a partner at Morgan, Lewis, offered the Law Blog some thoughts on the topic. “Employers have legal obligations to protect the safety of their customers and employees,” he said.  Criminal record checks “allow employers to meet these obligations by ensuring that individuals with violent histories are not hired into roles, such as in-home service technician roles, that provide them with private access to customers and employees.”

Companies, he added, typically do not implement blanket prohibitions against hiring applicants with a criminal record. “In my experience, employers have well-reasoned criminal record check policies tailored to the jobs for which they are hiring,” Evans said.

An EEOC spokeswoman told the Law Blog that the agency is concerned that the employers may be prone to weed out applicants who have long-ago arrests that never led to a conviction. “It is of great concern to us that inaccurate information might be used to deny people employment,” she said. “This is also an economic concern for communities, because if ex-offenders are not given jobs the chances are that they may re-offend,” she added.